Tis the season. I've done it once before. I made the transition with my oldest daughter from high school to college 4 years ago. It was a bitter sweet time. I had a heaviness in my heart when I dropped my girl off and drove away, seemingly leaving her behind. But underneath it all I knew this was how it should be. Watching your child step out into the world. I was honored and touched to be a part of that journey with her. The transition, looking back, was perfect. We are still close. I honor and admire the woman she has become. I am blessed. We are still close to this day and that is one of the greatest honors of my life.
Now I watch all the kiddos my youngest daughters age travel off on their journey. Its bitter sweet to watch. I know the emotions the moms are feeling, watching their kids step out into the world. I know dads are having them as well, but I am a mom. :) As a mom I am having some emotions this season as well.
I don't have a kiddo to drop off at school this year. My youngest started her transition into adulthood early. My last "first day of school picture" was her senior year last year. Senior year lasted all of a couple of weeks for her. It was fraught with friendships chosen from a not mentally well place. Trauma of a friends suicide. A summer in a manic depression and self destruction. I came home from work a few weeks into the school year to find her home and done with school. Our path in school was never a straight one. A mental health diagnosis had always made the journey more of a challenge. There was a school change, home schooling, and moving to the city to put her in a school that seemed to suit her left brain/right brain thinking. And for a minute it was beautiful. Then more trauma, and she crashed. Last september she passed her GED with flying colors. No high school graduation. No parties. No marking a milestone. Just another check off the list of things required to get through life. And continued downward spirals. The third hospitalization in her life. Promises and hearts broken. That was "senior year"
Now as other kiddos start school, I am unattached to the sense of how things "should be" for me or my youngest. The traditional route is not hers. I've grown to accept that. I've grown to accept that I will be judged for the way things have happened along the way. Everyone not living the actual journey always has a take on it. I accept that too. The hole left in my heart is just that my youngest's mental health demons robbed me of any beautiful transitions. Her departure was traumatic and rough. Yesterday I got a text she's moving into her own space. There was no joy in packing her, buying her linens or toilet paper or stupid little things like that. I don't even know where she lives anymore. Just that she found God, good people and a new "family" that she seems to indicate suit her better than I could. And if it's in her best interest, it will be another step in my journey of letting go. Letting go of the relationship I had hoped for with my children when they were little. Letting go of control of a reality I seem to not have the same memory of. Letting go of outcomes. Letting go of ego of others opinions. Letting go of knowing. So much to let go. How I wouldn't give to let go beautifully. Hug them and send them off with love if you are so lucky.
Sunday, August 11, 2019
Friday, January 11, 2019
Making New Years Resolutions Sucessful
Happy New Year! Chances are, if your one of the people that gets excited about new beginnings, and all the potential they hold, the new year is the mother of all holidays for you. At the beginning of the year we are inspired to start fresh. We set our New Years resolutions in our minds and in our journals with complete sincerity and inspiration. This will be the year you get organized, become the parent you want to be, find love, and everyones favorite, loose weight. The new year comes along and we take a deep breath, imagine all our potential, and set out with vigor to change ourselves for the better.
We aren't that far out from the end of last year. If your think back to December, and your progress on last years New Years resolutions, how'd you do? If you are one of the few that nailed it last year and met all your goals, I applaud you! If your are human you "nailed it" maybe a little more like this....
Why is it that we are truly inspired at the beginning of the year, yet by the end of the year we are drained, goals unmet, ready to wrap the year and start anew yet again? For each person the reasoning might be different. But the difference between what we imagined for ourselves vs reality tends to stand in stark contrast, reminding us of all our "imperfections", "flaws", and "failures".
Goals and resolutions are wonderful. Seeing yourself as the brilliant person you want to be is inspiring. But what happens when your daily life doesn't look like what you imagined or hoped? Your eating well for a while, working toward your health goal, then you fall off the wagon 7 days into the new year because of continued holiday celebrations. You decide to put yourself out there on a few dates, and your nerves get the best of you and you decide it's just easier to skip it and stay home with a good book. You are rocking the parenting goal until your teen decides their New Years goal is to become more defiantly independent, and you loose your mind with them after a long rough day. These set backs can get you thinking that your goals are impossible or unattainable because, let's face it, "I just keep messing it all up. Nothing is going like I planned it. I just so tired of the constant struggle." (not that I know and understand those thoughts or anything 😉) Drifting to all or nothing thinking is a huge hopes, dreams and goals killer.
So what if the difference between success and failure was just as simple as a change in your own mindset? One of my amazing life coaching clients shared a wonderful analogy. She says that's she if she gets one flat tire, she's not going to run around the car and slash the three good ones and sit on the side of the road stranded. How many times do we do that in our lives...seeing only the problem and becoming overwhelmed with the "problem"? For every "flat tire" in life their are a million reasons how it could have got that way. But to get your car moving forward you need to know the small steps to start changing that tire. You have to be willing to learn something new to empower yourself. It's the same in life! When your are heading on your journey toward your goal, you are going to come up against unfamiliar and/or uncomfortable challenges. Your may get tired or frustrated and just want to be done already! Sometimes you are going to maybe even get bounced a bit hard. There is no controlling what's happening out there in the world. But you can control how you see these things that are happening. You can break out of old belief patterns and find new perspectives that will put you back on the road to resolution.
Your amazing journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. What will your first step be this year? What path do you choose to walk down? How gentle and forgiving can you be with yourself if you start down the path and you decide you need to change course? How comfortable are you with not being able to see the end of the road your on? What skills and tools do you have to support you on your journey?
If walking your path toward your resolutions feels daunting, unattainable or overwhelming, have you ever considered trying to navigate the game of life with your own personal coach? With life coaching you have a neutral, nonjudgmental person, helping you decide what steps you are ready to take on your journey, and supporting you in ways that are suited specifically to your needs. Need accountability on your goals? Need help breaking the big picture into smaller steps? Need someone to give you a push out of your comfort zone? That's where I'd be honored to help. As a certified holistic life coach, I will help you look at the plays you've made up until now in life, and tap into your own strengths to change you game. My goal is to empower people to live their truest and best selves out loud into this world, and live fulfilling and joyful lives. I do this by working either in person, or via video chat, and together we find solutions to areas of life that have left you stuck. Together we learn to bust through those blocks and reveal the light on the other side. If your interested in finding out more please feel free to shoot me your questions at Naturallyjulie@gmail.com I look forward to helping you connect to the highest and best version of you that you can be!
We aren't that far out from the end of last year. If your think back to December, and your progress on last years New Years resolutions, how'd you do? If you are one of the few that nailed it last year and met all your goals, I applaud you! If your are human you "nailed it" maybe a little more like this....
Why is it that we are truly inspired at the beginning of the year, yet by the end of the year we are drained, goals unmet, ready to wrap the year and start anew yet again? For each person the reasoning might be different. But the difference between what we imagined for ourselves vs reality tends to stand in stark contrast, reminding us of all our "imperfections", "flaws", and "failures".
Goals and resolutions are wonderful. Seeing yourself as the brilliant person you want to be is inspiring. But what happens when your daily life doesn't look like what you imagined or hoped? Your eating well for a while, working toward your health goal, then you fall off the wagon 7 days into the new year because of continued holiday celebrations. You decide to put yourself out there on a few dates, and your nerves get the best of you and you decide it's just easier to skip it and stay home with a good book. You are rocking the parenting goal until your teen decides their New Years goal is to become more defiantly independent, and you loose your mind with them after a long rough day. These set backs can get you thinking that your goals are impossible or unattainable because, let's face it, "I just keep messing it all up. Nothing is going like I planned it. I just so tired of the constant struggle." (not that I know and understand those thoughts or anything 😉) Drifting to all or nothing thinking is a huge hopes, dreams and goals killer.
So what if the difference between success and failure was just as simple as a change in your own mindset? One of my amazing life coaching clients shared a wonderful analogy. She says that's she if she gets one flat tire, she's not going to run around the car and slash the three good ones and sit on the side of the road stranded. How many times do we do that in our lives...seeing only the problem and becoming overwhelmed with the "problem"? For every "flat tire" in life their are a million reasons how it could have got that way. But to get your car moving forward you need to know the small steps to start changing that tire. You have to be willing to learn something new to empower yourself. It's the same in life! When your are heading on your journey toward your goal, you are going to come up against unfamiliar and/or uncomfortable challenges. Your may get tired or frustrated and just want to be done already! Sometimes you are going to maybe even get bounced a bit hard. There is no controlling what's happening out there in the world. But you can control how you see these things that are happening. You can break out of old belief patterns and find new perspectives that will put you back on the road to resolution.
Your amazing journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. What will your first step be this year? What path do you choose to walk down? How gentle and forgiving can you be with yourself if you start down the path and you decide you need to change course? How comfortable are you with not being able to see the end of the road your on? What skills and tools do you have to support you on your journey?
If walking your path toward your resolutions feels daunting, unattainable or overwhelming, have you ever considered trying to navigate the game of life with your own personal coach? With life coaching you have a neutral, nonjudgmental person, helping you decide what steps you are ready to take on your journey, and supporting you in ways that are suited specifically to your needs. Need accountability on your goals? Need help breaking the big picture into smaller steps? Need someone to give you a push out of your comfort zone? That's where I'd be honored to help. As a certified holistic life coach, I will help you look at the plays you've made up until now in life, and tap into your own strengths to change you game. My goal is to empower people to live their truest and best selves out loud into this world, and live fulfilling and joyful lives. I do this by working either in person, or via video chat, and together we find solutions to areas of life that have left you stuck. Together we learn to bust through those blocks and reveal the light on the other side. If your interested in finding out more please feel free to shoot me your questions at Naturallyjulie@gmail.com I look forward to helping you connect to the highest and best version of you that you can be!
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