I just came home recently from my 7th summer family vacation to the beach in Destin, Florida. Now for the pragmatists out there (DAD), I know I was in the Gulf of Mexico. Of course it was. Who would be swimming in the Atlantic with all those shark attacks? :) But the gulf is My Place. I would say my happy place, but through the years I have come to find it is simply the place my soul speaks louder to me than most other places I have been. Except for Israel. What my soul has to say isn't always easy to hear but it is the truest version of me. And in that I find solace, clarity, and grounding, but not always happiness. Not being Pollyanna all the time is ok with me these days. I am actively learning how to dance in the storm. That is much more functional than avoiding the rain and chasing the sun. It's more like bringing your own sunshine and making some rainbows.
While wading in the ocean I began to realize how much life is like being in the water. As the waves would come toward me I could see that like life, you cannot control the waves. Have you ever tried to control the tide? Nope. That is the moon's job. Not mine. So I stood there in the ocean looking out to the horizon thinking about life and this beautiful water surrounding me. I was relaxing and letting the waves take me where they may. I looked at all the people safely sitting on the beach, and while that is where they want to be, I want to be in the water. I don't want to be afraid to dive in. I try to not let the idea of sharks cause fear to rise up in my head or else every shadow becomes exactly that. Once you are in the water the waves change day to day, moment to moment, and wave to wave. All you can do is deal with the wave approaching you. The ones behind you may have beat you up, but they are past you. They taught you a little more about what you need to watch for in the next wave. You also can't fear the next big wave that you cannot see. In order to get through the wave at hand you have to keep your consciousness in that moment. Be aware of it. If you do you can learn to judge when it's going to crest and adjust yourself accordingly, but you can't stop it from coming. Sometimes they break just past you and it's easy. Sometimes they look larger than they end up being by the time they reach you. Other times you find yourself caught off guard and hit by a wave that you didn't expect to be so powerful, or that you never saw coming. The next thing you know your knocked off your feet and your tumbling. Your first instinct is to fight to get to the surface as fast as possible but you are disoriented, and despite your effort or strength, you cannot find your way. The water may get dark and turbulent, and the waves may keep coming and knocking you down relentlessly. Fighting is exhausting. As they come, you start to realize that staying as calm and as relaxed as possible, and going with the wave until is subsides and takes you to a place when you can stand up again might be the best way to get out of the battle with the water. Ride the wave where it takes you and get yourself back on your feet.
As you go thru the different waves that come to you, you get stronger and smarter on how to navigate the water. In the end it is just you and the ocean. Maybe your a surfer riding the big one. Maybe your a mermaid at heart diving into the waves. Maybe your navigating a boat thru the waters. Some waters belong to the surfers. Some belong to the mermaids. Some belong to the boats. It's knowing what you can handle that saves you in the end. A surfer on the beach is stagnant. A mermaid stuck in the marina isn't free. A boat stuck on a sandbar isn't going anywhere. Sometimes the boats, the surfers and the mermaids share the ocean, but not the same waves. Find your ocean. Find yourself. For me its best said in the beautiful words of Eddie Vedder.....
"I'll ride the wave where it takes me."
Peace. ~Julie
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